Mohawks: Red-X is a Wanted Man

RUMOR: ARREST WARRANT OUT FOR THE GREAT “UNTOUCHABLE” SAGE “RED-X” FOR ALLEGED INCITING OF “SAGEOSITY AND INFAMOCITY”

By Kahentinetha Horn
Mohawk Nation News
June 19, 2007.

It’s really one of those open “John Doe” warrants for the “some-crime-has-to-fit-every-native” mentality that has always pervaded the colonial enterprise. Today Phil Fontaine of the AFN, the RCMP, OPP and SQ are setting a vicious “trap” for us Indigenous people who are challenging Canada Inc.’s lack of jurisdiction over us and our land. It’s set to spring on June 29th. The trap might spring back on them. You can be sure they won’t take their sights off us or stop scoping us with their high tech weapons.

The charge against the Red-X is “sageocity” and “infamocity”. It must be some sort of treason or something. He has certainly given out the most sageous messages ever yet seen in the universe, straight from the Third Dimension.

The “infamocity” is obvious. It comes from his pretentious demarginalization. He is accused of inciting the overturn of the existing worldwide social disorder. Would he have to be tried in an inter-galactic court of Ur’anus! Can we find a neutral turd party to squat in judgment?

He is being charged because what he says is contrary to the principles upon which Canada, the U.S. and other colonial states are founded, such as self-centered self-service, cronyism, taking advantage of people, stealing Indigenous possessions, conning people into buying them worldwide at bargain basement prices and then pocketing the profits. Red-X advocated the overthrow of this kind of system that is dedicated to monotheism, oppression and suppression of people. He’s charged with inciting people to think clearly, think ahead and protect the environment. This is a grave crime in the eyes of the colonial corporations that are trying to run the galaxy and colonize the universe.

Red-X strikes unspeakable terror ineffably into the hearts of the mindless colonizers’ souls! Red-X asks, “What are they afraid of?” That’s the question.

Who wants to know? Despite having to defend themselves from all those corruption charges at RCMP headquarters in Ottawa , someone has found time to put out a “Most Wanted” poster of the Red-X. There is a photo, but all you see is the hood. Through the eye slits, one can see a black and cavernous void, leading directly to the Third Dimension.

This we can’t tell for sure, but some scientists have recently discovered that some of the oldest vibrations in the universe are coming from a black hole in Pisces. They also state there were once meat-eating chickens bigger than the Taranosaurus Rex roaming around in Siberia . As Einstein pointed out, “The solution can be found when you take the mass of the photons and divide it by the square root of infinity”.

The black beaded hood that identifies the Red-X, covers a scar. Was he one of those kids who were beheaded and buried in the basement of a residential school? If so, it seems someone from the Third Dimension came along and sewed his head back on? The Red-X would not want people to get scared by the scar on his throat, especially little children who have no need to know about the time he spent in wherever he was.

This solves the mystery of the special hood which can never be found in Wal-Mart or the Dollar Store. “This is the power of the hood”, said the Red-X. “You gotta know your neighbors. You gotta speak to ‘em. You gotta ask ‘em what they think. And then you gotta stand beside ‘em.”

Another mystery is where does he live? The Red-X will only say, “I am he who has been prophesized to come. I am the one they’re looking for”.

Don’t think that the Red-X is a sequel to the “X-Files”. He’s been around a lot longer than that. A leading Canadian historian dusted off some primary documents in the archives. According to his testimony, many of the original treaties made by the colonizers to let them live here were signed with “Xs”. But we would not put much stock in that. According to the Red-X, “They all forgeries”.

But someone had to know about him to forge his signature. We are specially skeptical about the ten “Xs” that all look exactly alike that are on many of the first treaties.

The Red-X is concerned about why Phil Fontaine [of government-front “Assembly of First Nations”] accepted Indian Affairs Minister Jonestown Prentice’s offer to settle their claims to our land. Red-X says, “Think about it. Jonestown might have spiked Phil’s martini with a date rape drug instead of an olive”.

After chugging it down, Phil excused himself for a moment, zig-zagged by mistake into the ladies room to adjust his hair. There were mirrors everywhere. He saw all these guys that looked just like him. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all? Does Jonestown have a good deal for me?” he asked himself and nodded his head up and down. All the other guys in the mirrors nodded together in unison. Then he went back out to report to Jonestown, “Looks like we got consensus, boss”, he said.

As a consequence of Red-Xs pearls of wisdom, Ottawa decided to gather the swines into an “Interdepartmental Red-X Committee” run out of the war room in the Indian Affairs ”Tower of Terror”. According to their mission statement, they are commissioned to “figure out just what is the Red-X saying”. It’s headed by a top encryption expert from Arlington Virginia who said, “This is the biggest challenge of my entire life”.

“Stay tuned”, says Red-X. “The best is yet to come”.

Kahentinetha Horn
MNN Mohawk Nation News

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