A father's appreciation

Nathan and Jordan / 2007

Four chapters into the book I'm reading, I was stopped in my tracks by this paragraph:

Lou puts his arm around Rolph. If he were an introspective man, he would have understood years ago that his son is the one person in the world with the power to soothe him. And that, while he expects Rolph to be like him, what he most enjoys in his son are the many ways he is different: quiet, reflective, attuned to the natural world and the pain of others.

 -- Jennifer Egan, "A Visit From The Goon Squad"

 

For me, it's beside the point that Lou is a twice-divorced jerk having a fling with a younger woman. Or that Rolph is an earnest 11-year-old boy, not quite at the cusp of adolescence, not yet fully aware of his father's character flaws.

No, the power of that paragraph lies in that it made me stop and ask: What about my own kids? How are they different from me? And what do I enjoy most about them?

With Father's Day nearly upon us, it's a good time to answer those questions.

Nathan is outgoing, comfortable in seemingly any kind of new social situation. I can still be a wallflower at times, but he often (and quite naturally) becomes the center of attention with his storytelling and killer sense of humor. It's been great to see him grow comfortable in his own skin.

Simone in Oaxaca, Mexico / 2006

Simone is self-confident, a trait that's rooted in her academic success and enhanced by working in the trenches with the disadvantaged: alternative high school students, teen parents, gay youth, immigrant kids and their parents. It's one thing to write about the poor and the overlooked, as I've done, and another to work with them directly, as she has. She walks the talk when it comes to social justice.

Jordan is independent-minded, someone who is unafraid to take the path less traveled by his peers, joining the Army at 21, getting married at 22. I enjoy solitary activities like running and swimming  but he takes it to another level, welcoming the mano-a-mano of wrestling and mixed martial arts. I guess you could say he's fearless when it comes to physical challenges.

These were the first things that popped into my head. A good followup question: Are these traits the products of nature or nurture?