The Big Cuarenta

Forty. As in 40 frickin' years! How in the world did it get to be four decades since I graduated from high school?? And what, exactly, did I think I'd get from the experience of attending my 40-year high school reunion??

Even now, days after the gathering at a cookie-cutter hotel in the suburbs of San Francisco, I'm still trying to tease out what I took away from last Saturday's event.

After a fair amount of puzzling over the question, this may seem like a lame answer but it seems to make sense: I think I reverted to my high school self. And what does that mean? Bear with me as I strive to find the right words to recreate the feelings I had before, during and after the event for members of Washington High School's Class of 1970 in Fremont, California.

Q. Why did I want to attend? After all, I keep in touch with exactly two persons from high school.
A. I think I was curious, more than anything. I wasn't there to relive great old memories because, frankly, I missed out on a lot of the socializing and partying, owing to the fact that as a junior and senior I was working Friday and Saturday nights as a reporter for my hometown newspaper, covering prep and community college sports. I recall attending maybe five school dances at most, including the senior prom, and there was no ex-girlfriend even in the picture.

Home of the Huskies

Q. So what was I curious about?
A. Part of it was wondering who'd attend. In a class of 500, I figured there'd be 100 people or so and that estimate turned out to be about right. To be honest, I was wondering how people would react to me. Would they even remember who I was? Would we, as 50-somethings, get past whatever teenage barriers we threw up between us and have some interesting, egoless conversations? I wasn't out to impress; I went with an open mind, not knowing with whom I might connect.

Mary

Q. So how was it?
A. I was nervous at first. I was in line at the bar, waiting to order a beer when someone with her back to me stepped on my ankle. Turned out to be an ice-breaker. It was Mary, the ex-girlfriend of my best friend Al. We greeted each other warmly and fell into a nice conversation that quickly expanded to include a couple of other classmates. From that point on, I relaxed. I wound up talking to a mailman; a scientist; a professional musician; a foreign exchange student from Iran; a juvenile probation counselor; a psychologist, a couple of grade-school teachers, a railroad train enthusiast; a couple of athletes; the homecoming queen; my date to the senior prom; and two brainiacs. Plus, two girls I remembered as good friends: One, Evelyn, an engineer who worked with me on the high school newspaper; the other, Connie, an artist/teacher who worked on the yearbook staff.

Q. Any awkward moments?
A. You bet. Calling one guy by the wrong name. And, enthusiastically greeting another dude who responded with a glazed look of non-recognition. As a sports reporter, I wrote about him as a key member of the football team so he was certainly familiar to me. But then it dawned on me that we didn't have any classes together and probably never said more than "hi" a few times, so why would he know me?

JoElyn and Evelyn

Q. Any surprises?
A. Yep. My conversation with Charmaine, the homecoming queen, who is so friendly and down-to-earth she defies the stereotype. Turns out that she has two boys and a girl, just like me, and the oldest is an Army Ranger who's previously been stationed at two bases where my youngest son (who's tried out for the Rangers) also has served as an Army private. Also, Janice and JoElyn, the two brainiacs (and I use the term here with affection and admiration) who I sat next to at dinner and whose company I thoroughly enjoyed.

Q. How so?
A. You know, I don't think I spoke to either one during the four years we inhabited the same classrooms and hallways, and I realize now that was my big loss. I told Janice straight up that she intimidated me with her intelligence. She rolled her eyes with embarrassment but conceded that she's got a Ph.D and does biomedical research for a Bay Area firm. JoElyn is a retired financial systems analyst who I remembered as a musician with a flip hairdo. She still plays the clarinet and, much to my surprise, she and Janice are avid baseball fans with deep knowledge of the game and its players, past and present. They even attended a Hall of Fame induction ceremony in Cooperstown, N.Y., for Dennis Eckersley, the former Oakland A's star who was in the WHS Class of '72. Who would have known?

Q. So what's next?
A. Who knows? I'll send an iPhone photo or two to a couple of folks, probably exchange an email or two and carry around some pleasant memories, along with the realization that I'm still basically the same person I was in high school. Shy, reserved, more comfortable on the periphery than in the spotlight. Appreciative of one-on-one conversations, not one to boast or brag, and pretty adept at getting other people to talk about themselves. Are those the traits that led me to become a professional observer (aka a journalist)? Probably. Are those the traits that no doubt caused me to miss out on even more surprises and pleasant conversations? Oh, sure. Would I attend another reunion? Maybe. Let's just say I wouldn't rule it out.