Friday funnies

A longtime friend ("longtime" being a euphemism for "old") sent these to me earlier today, figuring I would appreciate them as a lover of words.

With thanks to Jon H, I post them here as well, hoping one or more bring a smile to your face.

Don't know about you, but I don't mind ending my work week on a lighter note. *

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

************ ********* *****

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber  .  .  . "
************ ********* *****

On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."

************ ********* *****

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee  :
"Invite us to your next blowout."

************ ********* *****

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg.
We want tows."

************ ********* *****

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire
and take appropriate action."

************ ********* *****
At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."

************ ********* *****

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We know our stuff."

************ ********* *****

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome!
Dog food expensive!"

************ ********* *****

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary.
We hear you coming."

************ ********* *****

At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."

************ ** ************


In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

************ ********* *****

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."

************ ********* *****

And don't forget the sign at a
CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

Post a comment below to let me know which one you liked best.

* Can you tell where I come down on socialism vs. capitalism?